African mothers blamed for producing ‘useless’ men, says online commentator

A video posted on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, has ignited a heated discussion across social media after a woman accused African mothers of fostering “useless men” by allowing fathers to retreat from parental responsibilities. The clip, which quickly went viral, points to a pattern where the first daughter in many families bears the weight of household chores, schooling and caregiving while her father contributes only financially. The speaker’s remarks have drawn both support and backlash, highlighting deep‑seated concerns about gender expectations in African societies.

In the recording, the lady asserts that “African mothers are the biggest enablers and the mass producers of useless men into the African society.” She argues that many fathers choose to distance themselves from the day‑to‑day duties of parenting, leaving their wives to manage virtually every aspect of home life. According to her, this dynamic forces the eldest daughter to assume roles traditionally shared by both parents, effectively turning her into a secondary caretaker from a young age. The claim resonates with observers who say the practice perpetuates a cycle of unequal labor distribution.

The commentator elaborates that “a lot of men in African households who are the husbands absorb themselves from the position of a second parent or even a contributing person in the household apart from bringing a cheque.” She describes a situation where financial provision becomes the sole contribution expected of men, while emotional labor, cooking, cleaning and child‑rearing fall squarely on mothers and their eldest daughters. By framing the issue as “parentification,” she draws attention to the psychological impact on children forced to grow up with adult responsibilities. The term show how early exposure to caretaking duties can shape a child’s sense of self and future expectations.

First daughters, she notes, are often tasked with cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, looking after younger siblings and preparing them for school. The video shows her emphasizing that these duties are not occasional chores but a continuous load that denies the girl a typical childhood. Critics of the practice argue that such expectations limit educational opportunities and undermine personal development for the affected daughters. Supporters of the view expressed on the comments section argue that families should distribute tasks more evenly, allowing both parents to participate actively in raising children.

The lady’s criticism extends to mothers who, in her view, tacitly permit the arrangement to persist. She claims that by not challenging the absentee father, mothers indirectly teach boys that domestic and childcare responsibilities belong exclusively to women. This, she warns, may lead to a generational transmission of attitudes where men expect their future wives to shoulder the bulk of household duties while they focus on earning money. The argument taps into broader debates about patriarchal norms and the need for cultural shifts in perceptions of masculinity and fatherhood.

Reaction to the video has been swift, with social media users sharing their own experiences of similar family dynamics. Some respondents echoed the sentiment, recounting personal stories of being the oldest daughter forced to manage household tasks while their fathers were rarely present. Others defended the fathers, suggesting that economic pressures often force men to work long hours, limiting their ability to contribute beyond financial support. The divide illustrates the complex reality many families face, where economic hardship and cultural expectations intersect.

Experts on family sociology have noted that the phenomenon of parentification is not unique to Africa, yet it carries particular weight in societies where extended family structures and traditional gender roles dominate. They point out that when children assume adult responsibilities early, it can affect mental health, academic performance and future relationship patterns. While the video does not provide statistical evidence, its narrative aligns with documented cases in academic literature, reinforcing the call for more balanced parenting approaches.

The platform’s algorithm has continued to push the clip, prompting discussions on whether social media can serve as a catalyst for change in household norms. The lady who recorded the video remains anonymous, but her message has sparked calls for community workshops, school programs and policy initiatives aimed at encouraging fathers to take a more active role at home. As the conversation unfolds online, observers anticipate that the debate may influence public discourse on gender equity, potentially prompting NGOs and governmental bodies to revisit existing family support strategies.